As soon as we set foot in Europe we felt that our problems would soon be solved. However, it didn’t take long for us to realise that the more we interacted with each other, the more difficulties arose not only because of our different personalities but also because of our religion, culture, social behaviour and attitude towards society.
For example, when we found ourselves all together in a classroom for the first time, we assumed that equality and solidarity would prevail between us, and that we would look towards a brighter future for our community in order to resolve our problems. Quite the contrary, we noticed that many of the boys would taunt and mock the girls in the class. It’s as if they felt they had the right to mock not only their fellow pupils but also the teacher herself. It’s as if they thought that this behaviour would somehow make them worthier, but of course this is not so. One thing that characterises us Afghans is that we think that by coming to Europe we acquire unrestricted freedom.
It is sad to say that there are some who have been obliged to cross all reasonable boundaries and have turned to prostitution, abandoned their husbands and children, changed religion etc.
Others have fallen for handsome men and have left their husbands and children to get together with younger partners in the deluded belief that their lives will be better.
One of the main problems we face is that people want to interfere in the private lives of girls. This upsets us and creates tensions. No one has been “assigned” the right to interfere. For example, some girls prefer to wear brightly coloured clothes, put on more make-up, go to parties and gatherings, or out for a walk. That’s when problems start. Why is that? It’s so simple! If people see a girl socialising with a lot of people they begin to bad-mouth her and cause her emotional harm. The question “why” comes up so often. Why don’t we have the right to decide our own future? Why are women and girls perceived as property? Probably because most of us wear some kind of mask, without actually knowing what it looks like. We don’t really know right from wrong and we simply talk without thinking.
Like all children the world over, we want to study, do well and make our country and family proud. And just as we wish for only good things for ourselves, we should do the same for our fellow men and women without passing judgement. We want to ask our families not to put so much pressure on their children but instead to work alongside them. It is evident that the more their children are under pressure and criticised, the more discouraged they become, the more likely they are to turn away from those closest to them, resulting in them being less compliant and a possible danger to themselves.
Despite all this, we are Afghans and proud of it. We wish for a bright future for us and our peers. We hope that the day will come when all our countrymen and women will live calmly, peacefully and tranquilly, without problems and upheavals.
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