Why do some European people think that we are happy in their countries?

Is the Earth vast? Is there enough room for everyone? Are these questions childish? If a child asks you these questions you will most likely tell them: “Yes my child, the Earth is vast and there is enough room for everyone. Look my child, we all live on this Earth in joy and happiness”. Yet if these were the questions of a young girl like me, then what would be your answer? If the answers are the same, I will not be able to just smile like the child. I will tell you: If the Earth was vast and there was enough room for everyone, then it would not be divided into pieces, borders would not exist, there would not be My country and Your country. I would tell you “it’s not important where you’re from, what’s important is that we are all citizens of this Earth”. These words are funny for me, just like a slogan. I will tell you that the Earth was vast, but we, humans, cut it into big and small pieces, made it our own. I will tell you that I don’t even own a small piece of this vast Earth. If we are all citizens of the Earth and nationality is not important, then why the first question that comes to mind when you see me is “where are you from?”?

What is painful is the fact that you think that a migrant is truly happy and comfortable in your countries, but this is not true. No one is happy to leave their homeland, the land where they were born, grew up in and had their first experiences in. No one is happy to leave their beloved ones behind and leave. I don’t feel happy because some of the people whose city I live in are not happy with my presence. I only have security. Well, actually no! These days I don’t even have security anymore. I’m not happy, because these days my neighbours are not happy to be my neighbours. But I have security. No, I forgot again, I don’t even have security. I have no security, when a German politician proudly announces that “I have returned 69 Afghan immigrants to their country” on the occasion of his 69th birthday. One of these young people, who had spent 8 years in Germany, committed suicide. Can I be happy in a continent where politicians play with the life of a migrant like this?

I don’t like the fact that you think your governments are giving their taxpayer’s money to us and if I look good it’s thanks to your tax money but when I don’t look good, then I’m just a dirty and smelly migrant. Think about it: Didn’t you pay taxes before your migrants entered your countries? Then you’re not paying the taxes for me. I was willing to live in a peaceful country and pay millions in taxes, in order to have a nationality, just to have a small piece of land on this Earth to call “home”. If you think I’m happy living in a country that is not mine and getting a small monthly financial support in my account, while I’m accountable for everything I buy, then you should think twice. 

Put yourself in my shoes. I haven’t had the opportunity to choose where I want to live for a long time. Sometimes I don’t even have the right to sit on a bus seat. Sometimes my children don’t have the right to attend school for months. Would you like to be in my place, to have that fear inside you every time you’re waiting for the metro that someone might push you onto rails? Would you like to be in my place, where the first thing you do every day is checking the latest political news regarding refugees or the fascist attacks against migrants or hearing of the number of human lives lost in Aegean Sea?

Yes, all these things are taking place on our Earth, not in books or stories. I’m not happy, I’m just safe. I was afraid of insecurity, of war, of dying, of my father being hanged for speaking about peace, of my brother’s wedding turning into a mourning ceremony due to a possible suicide bombing, of not having the most basic human rights. Yes, I was afraid of all these things and sought refuge in your country. 

Your country isn’t my country, it’s only a refuge for me. I’m only here to have security, yet sometimes I don’t even have that. Remember Excharcia on the 26th of August 2019. It was 5am, while I was in deep sleep, dreaming of the things I will never reach. Your police raided our home and evicted hundreds of women and children from their homes. Does clearing an area that is the hug of drug dealing have to take place at 5am without previous notice? These are squats that are consisted 80% of innocent women and children. Fear and intimidation was the police’s gift to the children in Excharcia at 5am! Has a gift ever made you so happy?

All this is not exaggeration, but rather a short period in the life of a migrant. I write these so that you know that there is raging sorrow behind every smile. I write these so that you know that euros and money cannot solve these problems. In the end, I will do my best to act upon Gandhi’s words: “Be the change you want to see in the world”. I will teach my child that together we can turn this world into a vast and borderless land. We can follow humanity, not race, nationality or religion. I will teach my child that words may have power, but they will be more powerful if we act upon them. Let’s act and realize the slogans of freedom, equality and human rights.

Mahdiah Hossaini